Dating failure

I could lie and tell you that I’ve hit it off with every girl I’ve ever talked to. You must think I’m so gross.” I eventually calmed her down and kept reinforcing that I still desired her. At that point though, I was done for the night and suggested we just relax. In the moment, I tried so hard to win her over when I should’ve just been honest. Lessons: Showing a woman you desire her is not a problem.I could protect my ego and deny any existence of flaws. I should’ve said, “I really am physically attracted to you but the way you view yourself is making this difficult.” Would it have cooled things off earlier? But I don’t want have sex with a girl who’s shaming herself – especially on our first intimate encounter. It’s good to be honest and upfront with what you want.I could make excuses for romantic situations that went wrong. The building blocks that set the foundation for the man I am today. Now, this gorgeous girl had invited me to her parent’s house. And maybe it would’ve helped her for future partners. Especially if she’s attracted to you, she’ll eventually want to be intimate as well.

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I never thought such an attractive girl could be so insecure about her looks. If a girl was attractive, I wanted her regardless of anything else. I texted her a couple of times and she still responded.

” She didn’t believe that I genuinely found her attractive. Lessons: When I was younger, I placed so much value only on physical looks. She didn’t owe me anything.” That was definitely a low point. If I’d respected her wishes and just been patient, I’m sure we could have been something more.

” “I think you have a perfect body.” “So there’s nothing wrong with it? I’m done.” After about 30 seconds of driving, all my anger turned to shame. I’m mad because some girl wasn’t ready to hook up with me?

“Of course I do…you’re really hot.” “Do you think I have a good body?

There’s a reason why I put “failures” in quotation marks in the headline. We ended up at Christine’s place on our second date. I’d dated around at that point, and she was different than the other women I’d met. It wasn’t about lust, but a genuine desire to connect with her on an intimate level. It’s when you expect her to have sex with you rather than letting her come to that decision on her own. Having ulterior motives is dishonest and manipulative. She’d graduated from MIT, then Princeton, and busted her ass to be a strong, independent woman.

Things started to heat up, we made out, and I reached to take off her shirt. She grabbed a towel and told me, “Now you’re definitely turned off. To take beautiful women off the pedestal and evaluate them for who they really are. She deserved better and I wasn’t the right guy for her at the time. Please come in.” I was expecting that kind of response. Hospitality is one thing, but giving a stranger permission to have “privacy” with her young daughter? Hannah and I listened to music while lying on the bed. But by then I was so far out of the moment, I couldn’t get it up. “Don’t freak out, but I think you just started your cycle.” Of course, she freaked out. This experience helped me see how important the whole package is, even for a casual fling. I regret my behavior and I’m glad she didn’t see me again. As she was leaving, her mother said, “Nick, if there’s anything you need, please tell me. You can close the door and have all the privacy you need. Hannah’s a wonderful girl – I hope you see that.” This was getting strange. This back-and-forth battle continued even after we were both undressed. You’re not even turned on.” I tried to tell her that I was very attracted, but my body just wasn’t responding. I was teasing her with my fingers when suddenly I saw it… “I’m embarrassed to admit it, but sometimes I have problems performing.” She understood my “problem”. She must be a high-caliber woman if she’s hot, right? But I never pushed things forward and never got to apologize.I met her female roommates and we all hung out on the couch. We kissed but she told me she didn’t want to go any further that night. That didn’t necessarily mean sex, I just wanted to keep kissing and touching her. Furthermore, do nice things for people out of the kindness of your heart. Lisa and I met at a bar on Friday, went back to her place that night, and hung out all day Saturday in the city. During our 36 hours together, we talked about everything.They complained about problems with their internet and I offered to check it out. With a background in psychology, she wasn’t afraid to divulge who she was and what she wanted. Lisa kept laughing at his jokes and couldn’t stop smiling. So when she saw another opportunity, she didn’t want to miss out on it.I figured, “If I do this, it’ll impress her.” I fixed the issue and became the hero of the night. She told me a few times, “You’re so young.” and “I’m looking for someone to share this life with.” She wasn’t trying to convince me to settle down with her. She knew at 21 I wasn’t looking for the same thing and I would not be a long-term partner for her. I would playfully tell her, “I’m wise beyond my years.” Or “Don’t worry about that right now.” We went out for dinner and drinks Saturday night. Then a tall, well-dressed man about 30 years old sat at the bar near us. I wasn’t oblivious — I could tell she was attracted to him. Do you know how hard it is to keep your composure in that situation? Having a woman look you in the eyes and tell you she desires another man is brutal. Lessons: Looking back, I should’ve handled things a lot differently.

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