Books on dating after death of spouse

I’ve found a couple of men online that are very high in match compatibilities and have written them, but not a word back in nearly three weeks. I admire your willingness to “jump into life” with both feet!

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Dear Eve, I lost my soul mate when he died after twenty-eight years together and now, I’m ready to jump back into the dating pool and get wet.

I’ve had two husbands and am not looking for marriage again.

What I would really like to find is a companion to have fun with and see what happens. I’m not a dazzler, but nice to look at (with a few extra pounds I’m getting rid of).

I’m very active and have a lot of fun with the “Red Hatters.” I’m open to a lot of activities and sports and am more or less and a pretty well rounded woman. Aloha, You sound wonderfully full of life and clear about what you want.

Rewrite your profile so that your clarity comes through with a positive twist so it doesn’t turn potential suitors off.

I would also like to invite you to reframe the concept of “I lost my soul mate.” While a completely understandable thing to say, the implication is that there is only one soul mate per person and once “lost, that kind of love, depth of intimacy and ultimate soul connection is not ever going to be yours again.

If it feels comfortable to you, I encourage a tiny change to the statement to say instead, “I lost soul mate” and then hold open the possibility (in actuality, the likelihood) that there is more than one soul mate per person and now you get another chance to find your other soul mates.

Sometimes they don’t respond because they are scared; sometimes they don’t log on for a long time; sometimes they have someone they’ve started dating already; sometimes they just know they aren’t your match.

When you don’t know the reason someone isn’t interested in you and are thus, in a position to make up a story of explanation, make up a story that supports you, rather than hinders you.

For instance, rather than assuming that they don’t like something about you, assume instead that they know that they are not ready for someone as wonderful as you.

At the same time, it is wise to reread your profile and initial emails with a discriminating eye to see if there is anything that you can modify to make your message and your heart match more clearly. Instead of saying, “I don’t want marriage” say “I’m looking for a companion with whom to celebrate life.” Sometimes emphasizing what you don’t want comes off as negative when in actuality, you are just very clear about what you do want.

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